It. Was. Lightning.

The Bible study with the kids tonight was about worry.  It referenced the passage of scripture in Matthew 6 about worrying doing you no good.  Reilly didn't make it all the way through, but he did do a great job singing the first 10 books of the Bible and reciting a couple of his memory verses.

After we were finished with the reading portion, my wife asked T.J. (he's 6) if he worries.  Of course we as parents know everything about him, so we know that he gets scared and worries about certain things.  So after her question, he answers, "No."  "You're kidding, right?" says his mom.  "Well, not really," he says.  My wife points out, "You do too worry about things.  You were scared the other night about the storm."  

His reply...

It. Was. Lightning.

Well, he has a point, doesn't he?  Lightning is cause for concern.  You don't think lighting is reason to worry?  Okay, I don't either, but check this out.  Scary stuff for sure.

In any event, I kind of chuckled, first that he had said he doesn't worry, and second because it was funny how he said "It. Was. Lightning." as if it was stupid to even suggest that one would not worry about lightning.

(Tangent: I can hear Reilly [he's 3] say right now, "You just typed a bad word, Daddy."  My wife always gets in trouble by Reilly for saying stupid.)

Then I realized, we as adults do the exact same thing.  We may see something someone else worries about and think it's silly.  However, when we worry about something, we without hesitation defend the legitimacy of that worry.  We can most certainly rationalize it, and we think others are crazy to not worry about that same thing.

I worry about things, even though I like to say I don't.  I sort of believe that we should tithe 10% of our gross income to the local church; I worry because every month if my family does that we won't have enough money to pay the bills and eat food.  I really want to do something special with my life; I worry that I'm going to go through life being comfortable and too safe with my choices and miss what I'm supposed to do. I really want to lead my family and make good decisions for us; I worry that I won't be the husband and father I'm supposed to be or maybe make a decision that ruins the future of our children (boy #3 is due in May, by the way).

I really could go on.  My worries might seem silly to you.  But you know you've got your own.

I guess it's a process.  As a Christian, I'm quite sure that God knows we won't have the faith to elude worry in every situation.  I think that's why He reminds us so frequently in His Word.  But circumstances don't change who He is.

I grew up playing basketball, and, like Michael Jordan, I always wanted to be taller.  (He wanted to be 7 feet tall. VIDEO)  I never figured how to stretch my frame, but I do know one thing that won't help me to grow taller...

Matthew 6:26-28

New King James Version (NKJV)

26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 
27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
28 “So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;

The text my wife sent me

My wife sent me this wonderful text message the other day. There was no specific event that took place to prompt it. Or if there was some event it was unbeknownst to me. Whatever the case she sent me this text, and it meant a lot. It didn't take much time for her to compose and send it, but I doubt I am the only husband who appreciates receiving encouragement from his wife. The message from her was sincere and heartfelt and made me smile.

Before I move onto the next part of the story let me suggest to you wives out there that husbands really appreciate your kind and respectful words. Husbands sometimes feel like all their wives do is put them down. Of course I have never felt like that (okay that's a lie). The truth is that we usually deserve it, but consistent kind and respectful words can help a husband learn how to treat his wife.

Okay back to the story (yes unfortunately there is more). After feeling so good about the text my wife sent me, I proceeded to come home after work and demean her right in front of a member of her extended family. It was about something that wasn't even a big deal, but the words I said and the tone with which I said it made her, as she put it, "feel dumb." So after the text she sent me that you read at the top of this post, I came home and made her feel dumb, in front of another adult. Anthony, FTW. Much sarcasm intended.

(By the way, FTW stands for For The Win, as if I was about to hit a game winning shot on the basketball court for example. I wondered for the longest time what that meant, then I googled it. You can find any answer you want on google. Sometimes the answer is even correct.)

So here's the point...

Guys, don't be idiots. We are supposed to love our wives as Christ loves the church. Don't talk down to her or treat her like she's stupid, especially in front of other people.

And ladies, even though you make great effort to encourage your husband and make him feel respected, he is going to do the same thing I did. He's a guy. Give him some grace and say more nice things about him. Eventually he will improve.

The last point is for the dudes. Check out this quote from a book I read a while back and really think about what it means (I'm not going to publish the name of the book here for fear I might lose my man-card, that is if I still have it):

"Some (men) may even go to their graves and never understand that to truly cherish a woman they must die to every scrap of self-interest."

Busy, Busy, Busy......Taking time to breathe....

I know you devoted followers out there have been wondering why in the world I have not been posting lately! Well, that's a good question. I have a good answer--I have been busy! As if being a mother of two fiesty little boys wasn't enough, I have added teacher, photographer, part-time worker, maid, and much more back on to the list recently. Don't get me wrong! I am not complaining in the least. I am just explaining my absence.

I decided in the quiet moments of this late evening to take the time to encourage all you people out in the virtual world to take some time to breathe. I have not done that in the last few weeks. I have rushed, rushed, rushed through every activity, phone call, work activity, Bible study, etc. To make it worse, I feel like I even rushed through our annual camping trip last weekend! I am going to do my best to chill out the next few days and focus on the must do's (feeding my kids, our animals, and dealing with the necessities of life) and do a few of the I want to do's. I am going to blog some, read some, run some and more. I don't care what it takes....I am not going to rush the next few days. I encourage you to do the same!

Before you know it...you'll be rushing to your grave....and Lord knows I don't want to do that!

Home Improvement Challenge #2: Give me so mo' H2O!

How has everyone been doing with our Home Improvement Challenge? I am proud to report that, so far, I have been successful! In fact, I have worked my way up to running three miles! I have to admit, I was astonished the first day it happened (and a little overwhelmed)! I didn't realize that I could honestly pull it off. I hope that you have been getting up and walking, jumping, playing sports, or just plain getting out and getting active!

Welcome to Home Improvement Challenge #2! As you know, I try the challenge out before I give it to you because I would never ask you to do something I can't do. To be completely honest, of the two challenges, this one was the absolute toughest for me! Here is your challenge for the next two weeks: Continue your activity schedule (running, walking, whatever you are doing), but add drinking more H2O everyday. In fact, drink more water than any other liquid you might consume during the day.

Let me give you some background on what I am doing. First, I am addicted to sweet tea. For me, it's not coffee, sodas, or energy drinks--give me my tea. What I have been desperately trying to do is limit my intake of caffeine to one cup a day. The rest of the day I drink water. I have to admit, some days have been worse than others. There have been a few days where I have gone completely caffeineless. There have also been a few days where I have had two cups of tea. (No more than two, I promise!!)

I have to say, I have already noticed a difference. I really believe that this played a big part in my ability to finally run three miles. I feel more hydrated during the day and I definitely feel better when I drink water than when I load myself down with other drinks. Keep in mind, you will pee like a fountain till your body gets used to all the water. Also, I am not keeping track of the amount of water I am drinking each day. Later on, I will start keeping track of it, but right now I am just trying to start a habit. When I was pregnant, I found that keeping track of the amount of water I drank really stressed me out and made it harder for me to keep wanting to drink it. Plain and simple, I drink it when I am thirsty.

Not only does this benefit your health, but it also saves you money outside the home. Have you checked the price of drinks at restaurants lately? A family of four can save about $10.00 off their bill at various locations if they drink water. If you ask me, $10.00 is a lot of money! I think it is absolutely ridiculous that restaurants are charging that for soft drinks and tea (especially when I know how much it costs to make tea). Not only will you feel healthier, but you will feel good about spending less money!

Believe me, I know that I am not asking you to do something easy. I know a lot of people who have to have some caffeine to get through the day. This is what is so great about the Home Improvement Challenge--you don't have to cut it out entirely, but you make realistic goals for yourself and make a change. I read an article once about running that said if you run until you are absolutely drained at the end of each session, you are less likely to continue running. I think the same goes for something like this. If you have to cut it out entirely, your head starts spinning and headaches start. Most likely, you will go back to caffeine in a second. I am slowly going to try and wean myself off and enjoy it every once in awhile.

So who's with me? Do you think you can add on this new challenge? I know it's hard, but I need your encouragement to do this! GO TEAM! Leave me a comment and tell me how you are doing so far with the physical activity!

I DID IT!!

I had to bang out a quick blog post to let everyone know that I finally ran a 5K distance yesterday! It felt fantastic! I could not have done it without this Home Improvement Challenge. I have really used the encouragement from others to get off my butt, even when I am exhausted, and get moving! Also, next week I will be posting Challenge #2. This one has been even more of a struggle for me than the getting active regularly challenge. However, I think it made an impact on why I was able to do what I was yesterday. I can already feel a difference in the way I feel about myself and in my moods. (You might want to check with the Straightforward Dad to be sure on that one!) I hope that you are getting active with Challenge #1. I know a lot of you are participating and I would love to hear updates--especially from those who have just started. What are your problems? What walls have you ran into that keep you from doing what you should? We will help you get through them! :)

Home Improvement Challenge #1: Get Active--REGULARLY

I don't know about you, but recently, I have felt very blah. Maybe a better way to phrase it is I have been "in a rut." For the last month (probably more), I have been feeling like a tired, spent, sticky, smelly mother of two and wife of one who has too much on her plate and not enough sleep. It has started showing up in my attitude and my appearance. The other day when I looked in the mirror, I realized that I have to put an end to this. It's time to step up and regain some of my former glory (or better yet, some of my former glow). I decided about two weeks ago that I was ready for a change. However, instead of jumping in with both feet all at one time (in the typical Straightforward Mom type way), I decided to approach these changes just like I do a cold pool--one tippy toe at a time. I don't know about you, but I hate cold water with more than a white hot hatred. It completely destroys any shot of me swimming, wading, tubing or the like. If the water is not bath water temperature, I have to ease myself into the water in the slowest manner possible or I will never get in. People always yell at me to just jump in. "It gets it all over with at one time," they tell me. I have done it a few times and it is like a brain freeze for me. It is very painful and it takes me years to get over the event. I realized the same thing happened to me when I tried to implement a bunch of changes (even though much needed) in my life. My head would hurt, things started to spin, and then all I wanted to do was get out of the mess I was in (or that terribly cold pool, to try and pull these two stories together). To keep myself from getting frustrated and quitting before I even got started, I decided to start implementing small changes every two weeks to help me get my motor running more efficiently. It was soon after that the light bulb (that had disappeared for a few months) went off above my head. Wouldn't it be great to start a Home Improvement Challenge on the blog?!?! I know there are other people who are about to hit the "middle of the year slump" (not just other moms) and could use a pick-me-up too! Well, here is the first installment of the Home Improvement Challenge! I hope that you will join me in this quest to defeat the blahs!

I know that most of you have been reading my blog from the very first post. Many of you know that I have been trying to become a runner. (Trying is the key word in that sentence.) I have had all kinds of breakdowns since I first posted my running goals. Actually, I should probably just go ahead and call them what they are--EXCUSES. Yes, even the wonderful Straightforward Mom makes excuses. Cold weather caused me to stay inside more than I wanted. I let it get the best of me (darn you cold weather). Then I had a few unexpected injuries (a few turned ankles, one tumble carrying one of the boys, etc.) that sidelined me for a few weeks or so. Of course, these each lead to my favorite one of all--I was too stinkin' tired. Did you hear me world? I, the most competitive person I know, was too tired to get out and do it. I think that was the one that disappointed me the most. How could I let that get the best of me?

About two weeks ago, I decided that I was going to get into a routine. I started back slowly and decided that no matter how I did it each week, I was going to make a commitment to getting back into it regularly. Personally, I have decided on a schedule of running three days a week with one day of cross training (or in my case, doing something other than running that would be exercise related--even if it is just running stairs at home). Are you wondering what the other three days of the week entail? Two days are used for rest (that means no running or extra-curricular exercising) and the last day can be used for rest on rough weeks or I can add in a tough or light run depending on how energetic/motivated I feel that week. So far, I have made the Straightforward Dad push me out the doors on the days I don't feel like it. When I get back, I am very thankful for his gentle (sometimes not so subtle kick) shove out the door to get me on track. To be quite honest, he likes me better after I run! To be honest, I do too. It helps me drop the stresses of a typical day (and sometimes too typical of a day) and come back energized and ready to take my duties on again. I have even found it gives me some alone time with God. I can get out there and focus on some positive music or even pray! (Please don't go camp out along my route to see if I am running with my eyes closed! You won't get to see me run into any trees or fall of any inclines!)

Now, you may be thinking, "What in the world is she asking me to do to get involved?" First, I am asking you to join me in this first challenge! I am not asking you to run. What I am asking is that you commit to 4 days of exercise a week. It can be walking, swimming, push-ups, sit-ups, cycling or ANYTHING active. I am asking you to get out and make a commitment to exercise the best way you know how. Please consider talking to your doctor before you start any type of exercise depending on your health situation. I am by no means a doctor or expert on exercise. I am just looking for others to partner up with to help get out of the blahs. Second, help me out by encouraging me and asking me constantly how my runs are going! Guilt is always a great motivator for me! Third, let me know how you are doing. I want to know if you build yourself up to doing great things in the terms of exercise.

I am completely serious about this. If you are ready to make a commitment, let me know by leaving a comment below. Even those expecting mommas can get out there and do this. Staying active in my pregnancies helped me stay focused and healthy. For all you parents out there, REMEMBER--your children are watching you. They often model their lifestyles after yours. I want to see how many people I can get to start the Home Improvement Challenge with me! Will you take the challenge? I have already started this challenge and am about to tackle Challenge #2. I'll post it in two weeks! GET ACTIVE!

SM 101: Putting Yourself Out There

(Just a small sample of the work I am doing. I guess I'll "put myself out there" and let you check out my website at http://www.wix.com/jtphotoga/jcox. Remember, be kind! I am a beginner.

Whew! This year is already off to a very fast start. I can't believe we are already 3 days into 2011. The days go by so quickly when you have children and a lot to do!

Welcome to the first class on the Straightforward Mom Blog. I bet you never guessed that I would start teaching on this blog. (That should give you a small hint on how much I miss the teaching profession!) Well, I am. This first instructional blog is on "putting yourself out there." This phrase can be interpreted several ways. For instance, maybe you are starting your first business and you are having to learn to "sell" yourself. Maybe you are a beginning runner training for your first 5K. You might be a mom with a husband who is telling you to get out of the house more and "make friends." You might be considering an opportunity to go back to school with students who are much younger than you and wonder if you have anything to offer. Welcome to the club--I am right there with you.

I have always been pretty good at selling myself. It's something I learned in high school (thanks to all my teachers out there) and from my parents. I was able to do well in college interviews, meeting with prospective college basketball coaches, and writing essays about how awesome I was as a person, student, and player. After college, my streak continued. I was able to ace job interviews, explain to students that I knew what was best, and take on coaching opportunities without any qualms on my part. As I have entered a new phase of my life, I have found it harder to "put myself out there" for people to approve or disapprove of what I have done or am doing. I think it partially comes from the fact that I have never done most of these things before. I am a fairly new mom. I have never been self-employed or have done the job that I am currently doing. I have never been a blogger or much of a journal keeper. I have never really been the artsy type. Yet, I have found myself doing all these things and having to learn to put it out there without fear.

First, I had to realize that it doesn't really matter what anyone (that means YOU) thinks except my heavenly Father. The Bible says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance." (Colossians 3:23) Well, sweet! That means I don't have to worry what all of you think. I just have to give it my best as if I am doing it for the one who died for me. So to kick-off putting yourself out there--"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might." (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

Second, I had to realize I wasn't the only one out there that was having to do this process all over again. The key is to team up with others who are trying to do the same thing. They will understand your thoughts, your questions, your desires and be able to offer accountability and encouragement. If you are runner, find someone else who is doing the same thing. If you are starting a small business, find someone who is interested in the same idea or at least is interested in what you are doing. Whatever you are putting yourself out there for, find someone with a similar passion. It will help you find more confidence to do what you need to do and possibly even some direction.

Third, remember this quote--"If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price." (Author Unknown) Even if you aren't as confident as you portray, people will be more apt to believe in you if you believe in yourself (or even appear to look like you know what you are doing). This thought applies to many areas of life. For instance, I believe that my husband likes it more when I am confident about my appearance (and not constantly going on and on about the fat rolls that seem to hang out in my back or that crazy blue vein that keeps getting brighter behind my kneecap) and agree with him when he tells me I am beautiful. I may not feel it at the time, but it's almost like the power of positive thinking. (Plus, I am God's handiwork. Why can't I be beautiful?) I am also teaching myself photography. I have learned that if I act nervous around those who I am doing photos for or children who are posing, they have less confidence in me. If I take on the job and stay in control from the beginning, not only do they follow me with confidence, but they like and appreciate my work. At that point, it's not as hard to put myself out there on display--for the moment. Does this mean that I don't chew off every finger nail before I do the job? Absolutely not, but when I get out of the car, you better believe it is game time.

And last, but not least, remember to love and be compassionate. When you are putting yourself out there for new friends or a new endeavor, be kind to those you encounter who are doing the same. They will often turn out to be your biggest support system. Also, do the same for those who are negative about what you are doing. Kill them with kindness. You will find that it is hard, but you feel better about who you are as a person (and as a Christian). As the Bible reminds us, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (I Cor. 13:13)

I hope that you will find this helpful to take the next step in a new adventure. I know I am! I need these reminders on a daily basis! My life is very different from this time last year and I have learned a lot of these the hard way. I hope you will offer other tips in the comments section below. I would appreciate any other helps as I endeavor to do all these things (especially learning to advertise myself--blog, photography, etc.). I am going to stop talking now and allow you to jump in. . .

Happy New Year!

Well 1/1/11 is upon us (I loved writing that. Isn't that terribly dorky?). I can't believe that 2010 finally has come to a close and a new fresh start is open to all. I have had epiphanies about two things in the last few days that I wanted to share.

First, I was wrong to be so negative about 2010. No matter how many bad things happened, it was still a good year. I should have looked back and counted my blessings instead of my curses. I do that so often. Maybe not being so pessimistic should have been on my list of resolutions. (Hey, I gotta pick my battles you know.) So many blessing happened. Even though Reilly had issues where we had to spend an extra evening in the hospital, he was born healthy, happy, and has been a great baby. My grandparents did experience a terrible accident that has pretty much changed their lives forever. Yet, they are still here with me when they could have very well been killed. I did give up a career that I desperately love, but now I get to spend time with my beautiful children and do what most moms would give their right arms to do--stay home and raise their kids. The list goes on and on. Yes, bad things happened, but God was there in every situation and looking back, I see His hand at each moment, guiding me toward 1/1/11 (Yes, I did it again!). It's amazing sometimes that I wonder where He is when I feel my heart can't take much more. As you look over your shoulder, you see He was there every step, carrying you when you needed to be carried. He was teaching me a few things along the way. (That's a whole other blog post that I will do this month I am sure.)

Second, why do we often feel we have to wait for something "new"--a new year, a new week, a new day--to feel like we have the opportunity for a fresh start? I look back at several of my Facebook status messages that said, "Can't wait for 2011," and think how stupid was I for posting that? I can have a fresh start anytime I want. I don't need a "new" anything--neither do you! If you have never asked Jesus Christ into your heart, that's the absolute best fresh start you can ever have. Yet, if you are already a believer, it takes a prayer--some quiet time with the Father--to get things back on track. Does this mean that you won't mess up five minutes later and not be right back where you started--on your knees? Absolutely not! What it does mean is that we can have that "new" feeling anytime we want without having to wait 365 days for a refreshing "do over."

So, I am here apologizing for being so straightforwardly wrong in my attitude about the last year. I am glad that I have a new year to look forward to, but I am so very thankful for all the blessings my Savior bestowed upon this girl (who needs a constant "do over") in 2010. I pray that your 2011 will be just as blessed and that you will consider coming back to this blog and getting involved and starting some discussions. I want to hear your thoughts and hearts. I want to get some dialogue going about tough issues and some laughter over your funny mishaps. I want you to feel that this is a place you can come and drop your load for just a few minutes. So Merry 2011 my friends!

Look out blogger world, here I am!

After a few weeks of saying I am going to do this (and people saying they would actually read what I write--I know don't all be shocked at once!), I am doing it. Welcome to the very first Straightforward Mom blog! Those of you who already know me expect me to tell the truth and not hold back how I truly feel. You expect my honest opinions. Well, your worst nightmares are coming true! I just hope that you will keep up with me and find some interesting things on this wonderful blog about womanhood, marriage, parenting, children, teaching, and above all else--a search for peace and joy through our Heavenly Father. You'll never know what you will get with the Straightforward Mom so make sure you keep coming back and sign up for e-mail updates. Thanks to everyone who inspired me to do this.