Learning a "Lot"

So, I have been working really hard to "not" do things the past few days. I can already tell you that the devil has been making daily appearances and trying to get me "doing" things that I said I would not do. The "fear" thing has already reared its ugly head a few times, but the Lord is working a change in me. I could already tell a difference in how I reacted and my thought processes surrounding each situation. I still let it get to me too much here and there, but it has not been as bad.

So enough rambling and on to the topic of the moment. We are doing a fantastic study of Genesis on Wednesday nights at our church. Currently, we are studying Abraham and Lot in chapters 18-19. Most people heard this story as children (which is interesting considering the range of topics it covers) but probably have not sat down and really looked at what goes on in these chapters and how it applies to our lives today. I have to admit, I was one of those people. Luckily, this study has taught me to go further than the accounts I learned as a child and learn to apply them to my own life.

Just to catch you up, Abraham and Lot are relatives (uncle/nephew) who have traveled together for some time. They finally come to a point where there is fighting among them and Abraham tells Lot that he can choose wherever he wants to go and Abraham will go the other way so that there will be peace again. Lot looks toward Sodom and how nice it looks. Of course, he makes the immediate decision to head that way.

It wasn't a huge decision. "I am going to where the grass looks greener." We all make that decision at various points in our lives. Whether it be a better job, a bigger house, a faster car, or, forgive me, a better looking or younger spouse--we all do it--Christians included. Is this always a bad thing you say? No way--well except for the spouse part. In fact, sometimes the grass is greener on the other side. However, I don't know how quickly you make decisions, but I am learning that maybe I should be a little more of the thinker that I accuse the Straightforward Dad of being. Lot didn't really think when he chose Sodom. He just saw it looked better than where he was and left. But what were the consequences?

Well, that one little decision to head to greener pastures affected everyone around him. He ended up putting his family in one of the most perverse places ever (although America is definitely headed in that direction--just turn on your TV). Anyone that came near him would be put in danger (consider the heavenly house guests he had). He loses members of his family in the destruction of the city, he loses his wife on the way out, and his daughters that he has left are disturbed enough to commit incest (Imagine how warped your mind would be if your dad offered you up to men just so they would stay away from the heavenly guests?). He then fathers his own grandchildren who will then father two of the nations that will constantly harass Israel. YIKES. . . and this all stemmed from one decision.

I don't know about you, but when I went back and looked at Lot's story, I was shocked at how that one (what seemed like a great decision at the time) decision ended up causing a world of heartache for, not only Lot, but generations to come. One decision. . . consider that for a moment. Whoa.

That got me to thinking, and I mean thinking hard. Each decision I make is a lot bigger than I thought. Decisions about where I allow my child to be educated, where I attend church, what kind of information and shows I allow into my home and much more suddenly seemed even more important. I look back to my parents for inspiration. Did they make the best decisions every time? I think even they would tell you they did not. However, I think one of the biggest decisions they made that impacted my life for eternity was Christian education. I am glad that I never have to wonder "what if." I think most of you who know me realize that would have been the worst decision ever in my case. Did the grass seem greener on the other side to them at times? I am sure it did. I am sure my dad would have liked to have had someone work all those extra hours to help me prepare for college basketball. I know my mom would have loved to have had a counselor help me figure out all that financial aid stuff instead of having to study it backward and forward so we didn't forget anything. But they chose to keep me where they felt like the Lord wanted me to be. That decision led to other decisions I made in life. I chose Piedmont (but I had actually signed scholarship papers with another school), which is where I met the Straightforward Dad, etcetera, etcetera. I don't like to sit back and think what might have happened had those decisions worked out differently.

Did I always make the right decisions? No way. In fact, I made some pretty poor decisions along the way (that did affect others in my life). However, I have tried to learn from those mistakes and make better ones as I went a long. (Don't get all interested. I am not sharing them!)

I have learned a lot from Lot. Everything has a consequence--every action, every word, every decision. That's one of the most amazing things about being a Christian. God allows us to choose. He knows what we are going to do before we do it. He knows the stupid things we are about to do, but knows we have to learn the hard way to make better decisions down the line. Our pastor made an interesting comment about Lot's story last night. He mentioned how that one can tell the Bible wasn't inspired by men because men would have ripped out those chapters (and so many more). People want to be remembered for their good decisions. They don't want to be remembered for their big whopper mistakes.

I hope you will take a moment and read through the account in Genesis of Lot. His life is interesting and yet typical of people who live in this day and time. I challenge you to learn lots from Lot and return here to share your thoughts. I hope this will encourage you to think a little more about those decisions that seem so small and unimportant. They might just be the ones that change the course of your life!

SM 101: Putting Yourself Out There

(Just a small sample of the work I am doing. I guess I'll "put myself out there" and let you check out my website at http://www.wix.com/jtphotoga/jcox. Remember, be kind! I am a beginner.

Whew! This year is already off to a very fast start. I can't believe we are already 3 days into 2011. The days go by so quickly when you have children and a lot to do!

Welcome to the first class on the Straightforward Mom Blog. I bet you never guessed that I would start teaching on this blog. (That should give you a small hint on how much I miss the teaching profession!) Well, I am. This first instructional blog is on "putting yourself out there." This phrase can be interpreted several ways. For instance, maybe you are starting your first business and you are having to learn to "sell" yourself. Maybe you are a beginning runner training for your first 5K. You might be a mom with a husband who is telling you to get out of the house more and "make friends." You might be considering an opportunity to go back to school with students who are much younger than you and wonder if you have anything to offer. Welcome to the club--I am right there with you.

I have always been pretty good at selling myself. It's something I learned in high school (thanks to all my teachers out there) and from my parents. I was able to do well in college interviews, meeting with prospective college basketball coaches, and writing essays about how awesome I was as a person, student, and player. After college, my streak continued. I was able to ace job interviews, explain to students that I knew what was best, and take on coaching opportunities without any qualms on my part. As I have entered a new phase of my life, I have found it harder to "put myself out there" for people to approve or disapprove of what I have done or am doing. I think it partially comes from the fact that I have never done most of these things before. I am a fairly new mom. I have never been self-employed or have done the job that I am currently doing. I have never been a blogger or much of a journal keeper. I have never really been the artsy type. Yet, I have found myself doing all these things and having to learn to put it out there without fear.

First, I had to realize that it doesn't really matter what anyone (that means YOU) thinks except my heavenly Father. The Bible says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance." (Colossians 3:23) Well, sweet! That means I don't have to worry what all of you think. I just have to give it my best as if I am doing it for the one who died for me. So to kick-off putting yourself out there--"Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might." (Ecclesiastes 9:10)

Second, I had to realize I wasn't the only one out there that was having to do this process all over again. The key is to team up with others who are trying to do the same thing. They will understand your thoughts, your questions, your desires and be able to offer accountability and encouragement. If you are runner, find someone else who is doing the same thing. If you are starting a small business, find someone who is interested in the same idea or at least is interested in what you are doing. Whatever you are putting yourself out there for, find someone with a similar passion. It will help you find more confidence to do what you need to do and possibly even some direction.

Third, remember this quote--"If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price." (Author Unknown) Even if you aren't as confident as you portray, people will be more apt to believe in you if you believe in yourself (or even appear to look like you know what you are doing). This thought applies to many areas of life. For instance, I believe that my husband likes it more when I am confident about my appearance (and not constantly going on and on about the fat rolls that seem to hang out in my back or that crazy blue vein that keeps getting brighter behind my kneecap) and agree with him when he tells me I am beautiful. I may not feel it at the time, but it's almost like the power of positive thinking. (Plus, I am God's handiwork. Why can't I be beautiful?) I am also teaching myself photography. I have learned that if I act nervous around those who I am doing photos for or children who are posing, they have less confidence in me. If I take on the job and stay in control from the beginning, not only do they follow me with confidence, but they like and appreciate my work. At that point, it's not as hard to put myself out there on display--for the moment. Does this mean that I don't chew off every finger nail before I do the job? Absolutely not, but when I get out of the car, you better believe it is game time.

And last, but not least, remember to love and be compassionate. When you are putting yourself out there for new friends or a new endeavor, be kind to those you encounter who are doing the same. They will often turn out to be your biggest support system. Also, do the same for those who are negative about what you are doing. Kill them with kindness. You will find that it is hard, but you feel better about who you are as a person (and as a Christian). As the Bible reminds us, "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (I Cor. 13:13)

I hope that you will find this helpful to take the next step in a new adventure. I know I am! I need these reminders on a daily basis! My life is very different from this time last year and I have learned a lot of these the hard way. I hope you will offer other tips in the comments section below. I would appreciate any other helps as I endeavor to do all these things (especially learning to advertise myself--blog, photography, etc.). I am going to stop talking now and allow you to jump in. . .

Happy New Year!

Well 1/1/11 is upon us (I loved writing that. Isn't that terribly dorky?). I can't believe that 2010 finally has come to a close and a new fresh start is open to all. I have had epiphanies about two things in the last few days that I wanted to share.

First, I was wrong to be so negative about 2010. No matter how many bad things happened, it was still a good year. I should have looked back and counted my blessings instead of my curses. I do that so often. Maybe not being so pessimistic should have been on my list of resolutions. (Hey, I gotta pick my battles you know.) So many blessing happened. Even though Reilly had issues where we had to spend an extra evening in the hospital, he was born healthy, happy, and has been a great baby. My grandparents did experience a terrible accident that has pretty much changed their lives forever. Yet, they are still here with me when they could have very well been killed. I did give up a career that I desperately love, but now I get to spend time with my beautiful children and do what most moms would give their right arms to do--stay home and raise their kids. The list goes on and on. Yes, bad things happened, but God was there in every situation and looking back, I see His hand at each moment, guiding me toward 1/1/11 (Yes, I did it again!). It's amazing sometimes that I wonder where He is when I feel my heart can't take much more. As you look over your shoulder, you see He was there every step, carrying you when you needed to be carried. He was teaching me a few things along the way. (That's a whole other blog post that I will do this month I am sure.)

Second, why do we often feel we have to wait for something "new"--a new year, a new week, a new day--to feel like we have the opportunity for a fresh start? I look back at several of my Facebook status messages that said, "Can't wait for 2011," and think how stupid was I for posting that? I can have a fresh start anytime I want. I don't need a "new" anything--neither do you! If you have never asked Jesus Christ into your heart, that's the absolute best fresh start you can ever have. Yet, if you are already a believer, it takes a prayer--some quiet time with the Father--to get things back on track. Does this mean that you won't mess up five minutes later and not be right back where you started--on your knees? Absolutely not! What it does mean is that we can have that "new" feeling anytime we want without having to wait 365 days for a refreshing "do over."

So, I am here apologizing for being so straightforwardly wrong in my attitude about the last year. I am glad that I have a new year to look forward to, but I am so very thankful for all the blessings my Savior bestowed upon this girl (who needs a constant "do over") in 2010. I pray that your 2011 will be just as blessed and that you will consider coming back to this blog and getting involved and starting some discussions. I want to hear your thoughts and hearts. I want to get some dialogue going about tough issues and some laughter over your funny mishaps. I want you to feel that this is a place you can come and drop your load for just a few minutes. So Merry 2011 my friends!

A Mom's New Year Resolutions

Well, here we are at the end of another year. For me, this has probably been one of the most difficult years of my life. Many wonderful things have happened, yet many terrible things have happened as well. I know that our lives are made up of ups and downs, but this year has been more downs than ups. Years like this make us look back and appreciate the years we had things so well.

It's always this time of year when I sit down and contemplate what I want to accomplish in the upcoming year. I make a list of a few things (ok, so there are usually more than a few things) that I need to do in the new year. I then proceed to not do them in short order. I don't know what causes me to forget my resolutions before the month of January is even over, but I do it every year. Don't get me wrong, I have done well some years to make it as far as March.

This year, I didn't want to do the same old, same old. I wanted to do something a little different. I decided to make a list of things I wouldn't do in the New Year as opposed to things I would do. I know a lot of people rather look at things the other way around, but I definitely need a new approach. So here goes. . .

1) I will not give up running. I will keep trying even though it's hard, cold, and well, plain painful at times. Currently, I am running about 3 miles. I plan to increase that this year.

2) I will not be the same wife/mother I was last year. I don't think I was a bad one, but I want to do better and find ways to become the person God would have me to be for them.

3) I will not over do it on my schedule. I want to have a less stressful and hectic year. I think I have the ability to pull this one off now that our family has made some adjustments and I look forward to being able to do more for my family and our church by being a proactive planner with a calendar. I think that by actually using a calendar I can keep our events at a minimum.

4) I will not be a Christian in my words alone. I want to have my actions speak for me.

5) I will not take the mountain tops for granted. This is something that I have done for years. Last year taught me that I can no longer do that.

6) I will not allow fear to drive my thoughts, actions, and life. I will ask for God's help.

7) I will not take my family for granted.

8) I will not allow my house get the best of me. For those of you who know me well, you know I am not a neat freak. I have a mess going pretty much 24-7. I then allow myself to become completely overwhelmed by the mess until I cannot function. No more in 2011.

9) I will not allow myself to stay indoors for days at a time. I am going to get out and be more accessible to my friends. I have learned this year that it makes me a better mom and wife to have some "me" time.

And last but not least. . .

10) I will NOT allow other relationships, things, people, events, etc. to interfere with my relationship with my Heavenly Father. In the last few years, I have allowed so much to come between me and Him. I am putting my foot down.

After making my list, I look back and realize I am still making resolutions. However, I am much better about not doing things than I am about having to do something. I hope that my blogs in the future will reflect that I am not doing things well! I would love for each one of you to come and leave a message of encouragement or accountability for me when you think of it. I hope that if you have trouble keeping resolutions, you might try the same tactic.....I'll keep you posted on my progress!

My Little Reindeer

Here are the photos from the Straightforward Son's 1st School Christmas Concert as promised! We were super proud of him! I threw in some of him singing "Away in a Manger" and partying too for good measure! ENJOY!

Our little Rudolph!

The class singing Rudolph

"The little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head...."

Two buddies chowing down at the party!

Mrs. Amy gets the kids ready for their book exchange!

Pet Peeves and Small Joys During the Season of Peace

Ok. I don't know about you, but there are so many things that happen to me during this season that drive me insane! I had to share a few of them with you.

1) I think they up the amount of toy commercials from October through December. In December it seems that they are shoving in as many as they can. (Thank goodness we only have basic cable now. I have no idea how many are being shoved in between Dora and Diego breaks right now!)

2) Parking in any parking lot (including the Dollar Tree) starting after Black Friday is a ridiculous task. People will literally tear off the front of your car to get a parking spot that even remotely seems like it might be closer to the door. I get that it's cold, but I have to get two kids in the store! Please, give a mom a hand and just let me have the space.

3) People who won't commit to the Christmas Play. Look, it's really hard to plan a Christmas Play if you are the lead role and are not sure you are going to show up. We only do this one time a year. Practicing for a few weeks (during church hours), showing up to the last dress rehearsal and the play should be a piece of cake.....right?

4) It irks the poo out of me when people will go all out decorating for Halloween, but won't even put up a strand of lights for Christmas. This might seem random, but I am an avid lover of Christmas lights. I appreciate those who get out in the cold and do the work!

5) Parents who refuse to tell their kids no. Picture me. I am in Wal-mart with the Straightforward Baby and the Straightforward Son walking remotely near the toy aisle trying to get to the pet section. A kid is screaming at their mother because they want to bring a toy home right now instead of having it for a gift. I then have to look my boys in the eye and give them a talking to just because of how that kid behaved. Ok, so maybe I don't "have" to, but I believe in being proactive!

Ok, so there are a few of my holiday pet peeves. Now for the REALLY good part! The joys....

1) I had the nicest Salvation Army bell ringer man (that was the most interesting thing I have typed all day) help me put the Straightforward Son in a buggy at Wal-Mart when it was about 20 degrees outside. He saw me struggling in my big jacket with my kid in his big jacket and came to my rescue. I usually drop in some change, but I gave that guy a dollar. He earned it and got a huge Merry Christmas from the Straightforward Son.

2) The Straightforward kids had THE BEST experience with Santa this year. I did a photo shoot at Bradley's Pumpkin Patch with the best Santa I have ever seen or been around. He spent time in between photos playing Leapster with a little boy who now thinks he and Santa are best friends. He'll never forget that special day!

3) We recently lost a wonderful member of our family this month. I had to explain death to my 3 1/2 yr. old son. You would think this would be terrible. Instead, he looked at me with those beautiful eyes and said, "Mommy, I will miss Uncle Walter, but I am sure glad you are still here." I have to admit I went somewhere and shed a few tears over that one.

4) Being a part of the Christmas activities at church again have just warmed my heart. I really love getting involved. Now that I have the ability to do so (without the craziness of a teaching schedule to hold me down), I am taking full advantage of it. The kids (no matter how uncommitted) have been a blessing and a lot of fun to be with. I can't wait for the Straightforward Son to sing his solo! I'll have to take some pictures and post!

5) Watching the Straightforward Son today perform in his class' musical debut was great. Of course, he started dancing and almost knocked a classmate over, but it was still precious and brought me much joy.

I would love to hear some of your pet peeves and joys of this season! Post them in the encouragements (otherwise known as comments) so we can enjoy them all!

Peace on Earth . . .

Well, needless to say I took a break from blogging to get through Thanksgiving. We made it. Those of you who know our family know what we have been going through recently and it has been rough. However, it was so nice to sit around the Thanksgiving table and offer our thoughts of appreciation to the Lord and each other. It truly made us realize just what we had been blessed with this year, even though things have been tough.

Now, on to Christmas! I don't know about you, but the Straightforward House has been bustling this Christmas season. We have had something on our calendar every day. We also have an advent calendar where the Straightforward Boys have a note each day about something special that will go on that day that is just for them. It's just one of the highlights of this season! I have committed to way too much this season and am trying to stay above the waves at this point. This is the first Christmas season that I feel totally unprepared for! Yet, I wanted to take some time to stop and offer some thoughts about the season in my most Straightforward manner!

Recently, I talked to our Sunday School class about peace. I am probably the worst person to talk about the subject as I am one of the world's worst worriers. I went into it a little hesitant, but found some interesting truths as I taught the lesson and the kids interacted with me.

Have you ever thought about the shepherds out sleeping in the fields? All of a sudden the sky opens up with angels! People are screaming (ok, singing very loudly) basically "Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests." (Luke 2:14, NIV) I don't know about you, but that is probably one of the most incredibly unpeaceful ways to talk about the peace that had arrived! :) I think I might have had to change my shepherdly undergarments had I seen this sight.

Today we see this verse translated to all kinds of things you can buy at Christmas. You see things that declare "Peace on Earth." Tons of Christmas cards and other paraphernalia have this or the word "Peace" tattooed all over it. Now don't get me wrong. Our Savior was born to bring peace. However, it is not in the way that so many people preach about or all the Christmas cards tend to portray it. Jesus wasn't sent to bring peace "on earth" between people. He came to bring peace to those who would accept Him as their Lord and Savior. Look at the end of what the angels' message says--"and on earth peace to those on whom His favor rests."

Still don't believe me? Check out this verse--"Think not not that I came to send peace on earth:I came not to send peace, but a sword. " (Matthew 10:34, KJV) WHOA.....what happened to the cute little baby we see in the nativity scenes and on the cards? What about this verse? "Suppose ye that I come to bring peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division." (Only 10 chapters from where the angels declared peace in Luke 12:51, KJV) Look at the difference between these verses and the message the angels brought that day to the shepherds. Yes, peace was finally readily available on earth for people, but it wasn't the way or the type that everyone expected.

Isn't that the way God always works? It seems that it is never the way or the means by which we expect God to work. He can use something stunningly simple, or He can use something infinitely complex--it seems it depends on the message and to whom the message will be delivered--that's not in the Bible, that's just a Straightforward Momism. I love that I can see His hand in something as simple as the smiles of my boys, yet understand His hand in the complexity of the way they were designed within my body. It's just incredible.

Off the tangent. After the discussion, our Sunday School class decided that Christmas cards about peace should not show a quiet night that is peaceful....but probably should show the innards of a person who is saved. Yeah, so our idea won't quite make the shelves of Hallmark this Christmas season. Who knows? Maybe next year.

I pray that you will find time this year to stop and find that true peace that is specifically for "those on whom His favor rests." If you are not one, become one. This is the perfect time. Don't put it off. You can't waste another minute without this peace! If you are already one of these, let go and let the peace do its work. Let Him have all your trials, troubles, and concerns. There's no time like the present--hahaha a little Christmas humor for you!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!