I love Mr. Darcy

I have always loved Pride and Prejudice. From the moment I first read the book, I felt this amazing connection with Elizabeth Bennett. In my mind, I was her. We had way too many similar qualities, I was just born in the wrong time period.

I have to admit, I love almost anything that was written by Jane Austen. I think she has the most realistic romances and shows the back and forth that really goes on between a man and woman. I have even loved the movies for the most part. In fact, I have even been able to get Anthony to enjoy the newer Pride and Prejudice with me. (He probably won’t admit it, but he does enjoy it. Now, as for the much longer version, I doubt he could attempt that.) He appreciates Mr. Darcy’s character—probably because he is so much like him.

Ever since I can remember, romance was a big deal for me. Even when I was dating, I loved the notes and letters, the long phone calls, and just the anticipation of it all. When I started dating Anthony, I realized that he lacked a little in the romance department, but I totally felt like I could make up for whatever he lacked and that he would learn from my example.  Ladies, let’s get one thing straight before we move on. Anyone who thinks they can change a man is sadly mistaken. No matter what the trait is, you will not be able to change a man. Only God can bring about change. He can use you to bring it about, but you cannot do it yourself.

Once we got married, I realized he just didn’t get it. It didn’t matter how much I led by example, he didn’t really live up to my idea of what romance should be. I had these grand ideas (thanks cheesy romantic movies) of what he would be and how much we would be in love. It was heartbreaking and a little shocking when these grand ideas never panned out.

After awhile I realized I had forgotten about my favorite love story—Pride and Prejudice. Ladies, let’s be real. Women dote on Mr. Darcy like he was some amazing hero in that story. He is so far from that it isn’t funny. Remember, he pretty much insults the girl he’s proposing to! He was always cocky for his own good. He had a sense that he was better than everyone else. He was pretty much the biggest pain in the butt that Elizabeth could imagine. However, it was his good traits that eventually outweighed the bad. He was not a perfect man. In fact, he was pretty far from it. Once he realized his faults though, he became exactly what Elizabeth needed—even when she didn’t realize it.

That’s when I realized that I had everything completely backwards. I had my very own Mr. Darcy and didn’t even realize it. I was expecting him to be something out of one of those cheesy romantic comedies when he was a Jane Austen character. It was at that point that I started to realize that Anthony was romantic in his own way.

It took awhile for me to see it, but I started to notice the little things that he did. He cooks for me because he likes it, but he also knows I hate it. He lets me put my cold feet on him in the middle of the night, even though I know it drives him crazy. He tries very hard to enjoy things that I like, even though some of those things are not his cup of tea at all.

It was in those moments that I realized that I was being selfish. He was romantic in his own way and I was expecting him to be something he was not—something that wasn’t real. While Anthony’s proposal was way more romantic than Mr. Darcy’s first attempt, I was amazed at how I had missed the similarity in those earlier years.

I have to add, he gets better with time. While he is still not the most romantic gift giver (I once received a Drop Stop for our car for Christmas.), he plans pretty great dates. As I watch him grow into his own version of romanticism, I realize that God is doing a work in him just for me. As much as I berated him about how unromantic he was and instructed him on how he could change, it was really my point of view that needed changing. Only God could open my eyes and help me realize that He’s still “working” on him. Good grief! He’s still “working” on me too. He is continually molding him into the man of my dreams—my own Mr. Darcy.