As many of you know, we recently took a trip to visit family in Florida. On the long, yet made much better by stopping halfway, way back, we did something we have never done before. We decided to have a theme for our year with just a couple of goals that relate to our mission. (Just a side note, if you want boys to get excited about doing anything, call it a mission. It just helps those of us women who live in a man's world get some cooperation.)
So announcing to all 50 people who will read this the first annual Cox theme for the New Year--ADVENTURE. Don't be underwhelmed. It has a lot of different facets to it.
First, we discussed that an adventure could happen in so many different areas of our life every day. If you think about it, each new day is an adventure. No day is exactly the same no matter how in a rut you feel. Adventures can appear in our spiritual, emotional, and physical lives. Adventure doesn't just mean trips. When most people think of adventure they think of scaling mountains or visiting a place you have never been. If you Google the definition of adventure it says this--
"an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity."
Most moms would look at that definition and see one word--HAZARDOUS. I know what you are thinking. It's probably the same thing 2017 me would say. "NOPE." We already have enough hazards going on here in this house with three boys running around and jumping off things." But after putting a lot of thought into this theme and after discussing it with the family, I realized that everything we do worth doing has its own risks and dangers. Shoot, when I chose to marry Anthony, it was coming with the risk that he could hurt me. And not just hurt me a little bit! I could totally be left heartbroken if the adventure I took on didn't work in my favor. When we decide on colleges, jobs, churches, friends, what to eat at lunch.....it all comes with a risk, with some kind of danger.
When I looked at it from this perspective, I realized that maybe I was being a little bit overprotective of the boys, not to mention Anthony and I. As we grow and mature, part of that process is learning to be able to assess risk and determine whether or not it's worth it. We also learn to deal with risks that turn out in our favor. That right there might be one of life's hardest, but most worthwhile, lessons. We have to learn to pick ourselves back up and keep moving forward. If you don't learn this important skill, it can have dire consequences.
So, back to our family. If you know my children, you know their personalities. TJ is the cautious, always assessing the risk and possible pitfalls that will happen kid. He is the one that looks at the bike, the roller coaster, the height and says, "What are the chances this will kill me?" If they chances are 10% or greater, he will not choose that thing. Reilly, on the other hand, doesn't assess anything until after the fact. You can see it in his face as soon as he gets in trouble for doing something he knows he shouldn't do. It registers every time. You can see his mind going, "Yep, probably should have thought that through." Then of course there is the baby Jase. He is anything but a baby most of the time. Risk? What's risk? And even afterwards, even after it falls apart miserably, he keeps on doing his thing. For instance, while on this aforementioned trip, Jase just jumped off into the pool while it wasn't his turn. (Yes, yes....we will be getting this kid swimming lessons in 2018.) While TJ would have never done it, Reilly would have come up in total fear and panic, Jase just kept smiling and looked at me and waved after being rescued by his dad. It's just how they are built. And while who they are is awesome and exactly what God created them to be, they each need to learn something from this family theme we have chosen.
Each day we will look for an adventure. It might be something God puts right in front of us like a friend who we need to witness to or encourage. It could be in trying a food we might not have otherwise tried. Maybe it means strapping in to a roller coaster or jumping on a bike and riding with training wheels. No matter what form, I want my kids to tackle it head on. But I also want them to look back and think about what they learned from that adventure. Was it worth the risk? Would they do it again? How do they feel after?
Within adventure, each of us added a goal for our family that will help us have an adventure this year. Here is the list:
1. Empathy
2. Sharing
3. Keeping Order
4. Time Management
5. Be Active
I am sure you are looking at this list and thinking how in the world do these apply to adventure? Take a second look. First, if we are empathetic, we are looking beyond ourselves and see the plight of others. It many cases, that results in us reaching out to those people. That can be a huge adventure in possibly creating a new friendship. It can also lead to us giving in big ways. We realized that giving can be a huge adventure and it, and relationships, can be very risky. Second, sharing means letting go. It means letting someone else have or share in something that you would normally keep to yourself. What an adventure it can be to let go and allow someone else to be part of the journey with you. Whether it comes in the form of a toy, the gospel, our food--whatever we share can put us on the path to a big adventure. Third, keeping order allows us more opportunities to go an adventure when the chance arises. I am not the most organized and neat person. I have tried so many times to make this change and it has never stuck. To be honest, I didn't marry the most organized and neat person either. We realize now that, with a plan, we can conquer this and have more opportunities to host people in our home, be able to head out of the house, or just plain be ready when adventure calls.
Fourth, time management is a huge issue for all of us. From Anthony all the way down to Jase, we have to budget our time wisely. Of course this seems a little less adventury, but if we budget our time and get things done in a timely manner (working smarter, not harder) we have more time for adventure when it calls. It offers us the opportunity to be ready. The last one is a big one for me. I live in a house of button pushers. Men who love their technology and are really good with it. But it can be time consuming--even for me. This year we are committing to less screen time and more activity. Think about the adventures that wait if we would just cut back on the button pushing, finger swiping, and double tapping? It also means that Anthony and I can get back in shape before we go off on our big 15th wedding anniversary adventure!
So as you can see, ADVENTURE is the word of the year for us. My prayer for us is that God will bless this commitment we have made to each other and to Him. I am not looking for all our risks to pan out, but that when they don't we learn how to handle it. Losing, failure, broken hearts--they are all part of life. And if we can learn how to handle that together, then hopefully we will be putting some pretty amazing young men out into the world.
What's your word for your family this year? Let us know! Do you have other goals for your family? Share them with us. We will hold you accountable, just as I hope you will do the same for us!
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