Dear Social Media Warrior

Dear Social Media Warrior:

I am writing to you today to relieve you of your post. From here on out, you are no longer required to sit on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media platform and search out those who do not think exactly the same as you. At ease soldier.

To help you find your way back into normal social media society, I have a few tips that might help you. I know active social media duty can be tiresome and draining. It takes some time to break habits you might have formed during your tour around social media land.

First, several of the platforms offer you the ability to unfollow, unfriend, or delete other warriors or targets. Use this option. Remove anyone that might cause you to go back into attack mode or put you on alert. Any time you see something in your feed that causes you to pick up arms and attack, it's time to remove that trigger.

Second, choose to employ the scroll by. If you see something that just makes you want to go on the attack, use that little bar on the side and drag it down. POOF! The trigger has now been removed. You can go about your browsing. If you find yourself continuing to ponder the rants and soapboxes you see, get off whatever platform you are perusing and do something positive. There are several options you can choose from. Consider calling your mom or grandmother. Write a letter or card to a sick friend or a sad co-worker. Pay it forward and go pay for someone's meal at a restaurant. Combat the negativity with positivity.

Third, consider why you are still aching to be in active duty. Why do you fight so hard? Is it the desire to be right? Is it the urge to put others, who you believe are wrong, in their place? A recent article on Psychology Today explains that no matter how persuasive you might be, even cold hard facts won't deter the masses. Denise Cummins, PhD gave this example in her article:

"Consider this study by Lord, Ross and Leppner (1979)     which used a very realistic procedure to examine whether logic and evidence lead people to change their minds: People supporting and opposing capital punishment were asked to read two studies, one that confirmed and one that disconfirmed their existing beliefs about the death penalty. The studies were fictional, but were described as actual published research. They were then asked of each study, "Has this study changed the way you feel toward capital punishment?", and "Has this study changed your beliefs about the deterrent efficacy of the death penalty?" Then they were given summaries of several prominent criticisms of the study, and the authors’ rebuttals to the criticisms.

The results? The two groups became more certain of their original position, and, as a result, the groups became more polarized in their beliefs!

Why? Because people are likely to examine relevant evidence in a biased manner, accepting evidence that is consistent with their views without further scrutiny while subjecting evidence that contradicts their views to intense scrutiny."
Whose mind are you changing? Are you just making things worse? Are you just making someone even more less open minded? Who are you to give orders? What makes you so infallible and correct that you are allowed to give your opinion as the only opinion worth having? One of the things I have found to be a great characteristic of this wonderful thing we call mankind is the ability to think differently. Should you stand up for injustice? Yes. Should you stand up for life? Yes. Should you continue to fight the good fight? YES!  But not everything is so cut and dry. Do your due diligence and see all sides of an issue. Not only does this help you see things from another perspective, it allows you the opportunity to know why you believe what you believe.

Lastly, consider joining another regiment. Go out and find an infantry group who actually have their boots on the ground and get your hands dirty. (Not to say that your fingers and keyboard aren't already covered in the blood of your victims you have slaughtered during your many campaigns on the social media battle field.) Social media rarely makes real change. Lots of people say they want to fight the good fight. It is rare that many really step in and actually put on the uniform and walk the walk. 

But I am here to say it is okay to put the fire out under your fingertips and light the fire under your butt. You don't have to leave your warrior status behind, just become a different kind of warrior. Fight for real change instead of just being another voice in a sea of words. When you look back on your career as a warrior, don't you want to have actually helped someone? Otherwise, what's the point of fighting? 

Signed Your Commanding Officer,

Just as Guilty as You

Do you even blog, bro? (Please don't call it that.)

Jen and I have been discussing for quite a while the idea of doing a shared blog. We often chat (no probably more like sometimes) about different topics that we feel like we could share to help others. Or at least help them not feel so abnormal. I'm reading a book right now called Start by Jon Acuff. My mom gave it to me. It talks about, well, starting stuff. (This is where T.J gets his writing style from. Hey, some people like this kind of format. My bad.) Jen encouraged me that it was time to make this happen. And I'm always right. And I didn't need a book to tell me to start.

For those who don't know us, we are a family of five, four boys and a girl. Don't forget the two boy dogs. We currently homeschool all three of our kids but plan on sending two to school in the fall. I am a photographer serving Northeast Georgia. And you are... Oh. I am a Registrar at Piedmont College. Everyone knows what that is. Yeah. Right. I'm sure they do.

As we mentioned earlier, we really want this to be about encouraging others who may face similar challenges or feel like their lives are out of the ordinary. Well, we want to help people find happiness in the havoc, because that's what we're trying to do. We want people to know it's okay to be happy and crazy. I had some really great blog titles that got shot down. This one is good though.

My brother and sister-in-law (hi J.R. and Kayla) made fun of us for talking about pink and blue ears. It's from a book. What's it called again? Was it Cracking the Communication Code? It was back when were trying to better our relationship, before we figured out we just need to not read books. At least about marriage. But we figured we should write in code so people would know who was speaking and writing the blog (and to also irritate J.R. and Kayla).

Some posts will be a joint effort, such as this introductory one. Others will be posts that I or Jen write individually. Mine will always be more interesting and funny. I will always let Jen read mine before they are posted. She already read one I'm going to post and said it wasn't a blog but a book. Okay, maybe a short story.

There are already some posts available for your reading enjoyment. We consolidated our individual blogs, or really just re-posted everything. What we hope...(Reilly from the other room: I'm gonna kill you! Stop saying you're going to kill your brother.)...is that we can be honest in what we write. Our lives aren't perfect. We're not perfect as individuals, and when you put five imperfect individuals together, that's perfect imperfection. You like to say the words individuals and perfect. Why would you say that six times? She just proved my point. 

Is that all? You can catch our 365 project on Instagram @straightforwardmom. We will write, but we will also probably do some video blogs (that's called a vlog in case you aren't a nerd) or Facebook Live interactive sessions. If you have any topics you want us to chat about, let us know. I am full of useless information, especially about smartphones and Dave Ramsey. 

Wanted: Mission Field Near Me

I get so frustrated sometimes. I'll be listening to some great, "Go out and tell others" message or watch a story about some amazing missionaries and I will just get completely down and out. My mind goes to the thought--"Lord, I don't have a mission field! I spend the majority of time in my home raising children and working. When I do get out, it is for church events or with friends and family. Where's my mission field?"

Recently, I was feeling very sorry for myself. I kept thinking it wasn't fair. In my mind there was no way for me to fulfill the "go" commission of the Bible. It took a minute and I finally just gave it up to God. Without thinking, in my mind, I gave over this desire to the Lord and just moved on with my day.

The following day, I checked my Instagram (For those of you who don't know, this is my newest obsession. It's a photography app for the iPhone that allows you to create a social profile and share your photos with people from all over the world. It's one of the most popular apps today and people share all kinds of things--good and bad. However, it has given me an outlet to share my everyday life, have adult interactions, and look at beautiful photographs from all over the world. If you have the app, please come find me--jt1114_ih.) as I do every day. I was checking through my notifications and came across something very interesting. I had posted a picture with a comment that questioned what were we reflecting? As Christians, we should reflect our Creator. Often times though, the best we are is a muddy reflection. The picture was of a red Georgia clay puddle that was reflecting two beautiful bare winter trees. As I read lower, I noticed that an individual had posted something to me and had gone into a personal story and had mentioned that she was an unbeliever. I responded and offered some words of encouragement and a hope that one day she would find the peace and joy that I had found. She responded in a positive way and I feel like I was able to help in some small way. Even more, I feel like I might have been able to plant a seed.

At that moment, I felt like Sarah. Remember when Sarah laughed at God when He told her she would have a baby at an old age? She didn't believe that it was possible for her to be used. She even scoffed at the idea of it ever happening. In some small way, I know some of what she was feeling holding her newborn son and being awfully ashamed for not trusting. I didn't laugh at God, but I was pretty skeptical that I would ever have the opportunity to talk to someone like I did in the instance above. And boy, talk about quick work. The Lord made me look foolish quick!

The truth is we all have mission fields right where we are. I know many of you work with unbelievers. Some of you go to school with unbelievers every day. The question is. . . are we willing to make the effort? I had never thought of Instagram as a way to reach others. I had used it for my own devices--promoting my photography, socializing, etc. God has other reasons for my participation in the IG world. I didn't see that until my silent prayer and this random user's comment opened my eyes.

I bet some of you are thinking, that event is a total coincidence. There are some of you who are probably thinking that I am making a big deal out of something so small and insignificant. Well you are wrong on both accounts. First, it wasn't a total coincidence. The Lord had tried to show me this before when someone asked me a question about my profile description that says God fearing. I answered the question, but never followed up on that person and never thought beyond what the user had asked me. This time, I believe that God knew I needed a bold, in-your-face moment where the person was so open that I couldn't miss it. Second, the world of IG is no small matter. I literally have over 1,000 followers just on my profile alone. This doesn't account for the thousands and thousands more that are out there in IG world with the same hurts, thoughts, and ideas as the IG user who spoke to me not long ago. I have the opportunity to reach thousands of people through my pictures and my stories. I feel like it is a huge responsibility and blessing. Also, isn't every soul significant? People often make fun of how "into" Instagram I am lately. Well, now I have good reason to be!

I hope that this encourages you to go out and find a mission field of your own. You don't have to go to Africa or Asia to reach people with the Good News. There are people who live on your street who are hurting and looking for someone to lend an ear. There are children who would love to go to church, but don't have a ride. If you watch the news you can see millions of hurting people within the United States who are looking for someone to care. Many are not the easiest people to reach. Some people have to be loved on in order for their hearts to be softened. It's worth the time and effort. If this post encourages you in some way, I hope you will let me know! If you find a new mission field, I would love to hear about it.