It's that time of the year again. The push of three holidays right in a row. The shorter days that turn into very long nights. Family interactions that can either be uplifting or a complete nightmare. Social events where people expect you not only to show up, but participate like a normal human in a normal society. All in all, it is the most wonderful time of the year, but it's also the most stressful time of the year.
Yeah, yeah.....I know. If you follow me at all on any social media outlet, you know I talk about my stress level. It usually peaks around holidays because of the type of business that I run, but it also pretty much runs me ragged just about any time of the year. So I decided to sit down and try to identify some of the root causes for me and hope that it might just help you identify yours!
So I here I sit with my pen and paper wondering why in the world am I so stressed out. It's more than just a hectic work schedule, balancing three kids and a husband, a barely existent social life and crazy holiday activities. There are root causes as to what gets me to the point where I am ready to have a panic attack and crawl into bed to never come out.
First thing I write down--I think I am in control of EVERYTHING. I am not kidding. I am that person that thinks that they can juggle a lot of balls and the performance will come out something like a stellar cirque du soleil act. You know, the ones where people flip around on strings and bars and do amazing things. Well, probably not while juggling, but you get my point. And the truth is, I am more like that kid in clown school who is just learning how to juggle with two feet planted on the ground. And it's not turning out quite like he planned. The balls inevitably fall and I find myself failing in not just one area but two or three. The stress rises as each ball flies into the air. With each one that I don't catch, it starts to take my breath away until I feel like I need an oxygen tank to keep going.
Not only do I take on and try to control a lot, I hate to let go of things and trust other people to help me with anything. You have heard the old saying, "If you want things done right, you need to do it yourself," right? Well, it's like a motto for me. I know it drives Anthony crazy. He doesn't tell me that, but I feel it in my bones. I do trust him, but sometimes, letting go of something and letting him handle it can cause me so much stress. Again, the oxygen tank needs to be brought out of storage.
So after writing down number one, what's my action to dealing with this root cause? Well, I write down--I DON'T HAVE CONTROL. Literally that big and in a loud voice yelling it at myself. Seriously! What was I thinking? I can't control the weather on mini session days. I can't control when my kids become ill or when I fall off of a ledge and mess up my ankle. I can't even control my holiday preparation plan. Things happen that will throw it off. For instance, I have been so stressed because my kids carved their pumpkin the day after Halloween. It broke my heart that I had somehow fallen down on my job as a mother. Yesterday, I realized that I needed to let it go and we went and bought a Mickey Mouse set to dress up our other pumpkin on our front porch. (And yes, it was over half off since Halloween was over.)
So if I don't have control, who does? Well, that my friends, is something I know in my head but I don't often internalize and take to heart. GOD. Plain and simple, He has my back and knows how all of this will turn out. All He asks me to do is--"Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and live securely. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires. Commit your way to the Lord; Trust in Him, and He will act, making your righteousness shine like the dawn, justice like noonday. Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for Him..." (Psalm 37) But doing those things means intentionally letting go of my thinking that I actually control things and handing over my stress. And let me tell you, for some strange reason I am like Gollum when it comes to letting go. (My Precioussssssss........)
Second thing I write down--refusing any kind of me time. This was hard for me to realize. A few weeks ago, some friends invited me out to dinner. I told both of them I couldn't make it because I was working that evening and I wouldn't have time to clean up and I would probably be tired. I stressed about saying no. I stressed about saying yes. Finally, Anthony told me I was going and I ended up having a great time. It gave me some down time to destress and think about things other than those that weighed heavy on my mind.
When I go to the store, I typically don't go alone. When I go to the bathroom, most likely there are other people in my stall. When I eat, there is someone at my elbow. No matter what I do and when I do it, I am constantly reminded that it's not about me. So when I do think about doing something for me, I feel guilty about it.
What's my action to dealing with this? I will not let stress, tiredness, time crunches, neediness, etc, get in the way of me taking care of myself or taking time off. Doing something to take care of me will help make me a better juggler.
The third thing I wrote down was seeing my circumstances as huge instead of my God as huge. A lot of times, all I can see is the negative. Every single time I put my children in a car that is not driven by me, I envision every single bad thing that could happen. My mind goes crazy. I don't focus on how grateful I am that He provided someone to help me get my kids where they need to go. I don't think about how He protects them every day from unseen dangers and attacks. I focus on the negative. My God is bigger than all my problems--even the ones that come with big stress. In fact, He is bigger than the biggest stress.
I am going to admit it, sometimes I allow my problems to make my God look small. He is bigger than anything I could ever face! Yeah, I may disappoint someone or not do something right. I may miss a deadline or forget to carve a pumpkin. But those mistakes are small in comparison to making the mistake to not trust God for everything. I also started thinking about how I worry so much about disappointing others! Man, if I worried about disappointing God half as much, maybe I wouldn't have time to worry about the other side of that!
So what's my action for this one? Stay up on my Bible time. It's a great reminder that, "My God is big, so strong and so mighty there's nothing my God cannot do!" That means I have to get up and focus on it. That's easier said than done when you work some late nights or have a kid who can't sleep during the night. Yet, I find that it's worth it. On those days I get up and start my day with Him, I tend to do better with the stress.
So what are some of your root causes of stress? Share them with us! I bet there is an action you can take to combat it!
No comments:
Post a Comment