Dear Social Media Warrior:
I am writing to you today to relieve you of your post. From here on out, you are no longer required to sit on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media platform and search out those who do not think exactly the same as you. At ease soldier.
To help you find your way back into normal social media society, I have a few tips that might help you. I know active social media duty can be tiresome and draining. It takes some time to break habits you might have formed during your tour around social media land.
First, several of the platforms offer you the ability to unfollow, unfriend, or delete other warriors or targets. Use this option. Remove anyone that might cause you to go back into attack mode or put you on alert. Any time you see something in your feed that causes you to pick up arms and attack, it's time to remove that trigger.
Second, choose to employ the scroll by. If you see something that just makes you want to go on the attack, use that little bar on the side and drag it down. POOF! The trigger has now been removed. You can go about your browsing. If you find yourself continuing to ponder the rants and soapboxes you see, get off whatever platform you are perusing and do something positive. There are several options you can choose from. Consider calling your mom or grandmother. Write a letter or card to a sick friend or a sad co-worker. Pay it forward and go pay for someone's meal at a restaurant. Combat the negativity with positivity.
Third, consider why you are still aching to be in active duty. Why do you fight so hard? Is it the desire to be right? Is it the urge to put others, who you believe are wrong, in their place? A recent article on Psychology Today explains that no matter how persuasive you might be, even cold hard facts won't deter the masses. Denise Cummins, PhD gave this example in her article:
"Consider this study by Lord, Ross and Leppner (1979) which used a very realistic procedure
to examine whether logic and evidence lead people to change their minds:
People supporting and opposing capital punishment
were asked to read two studies, one that confirmed and one that
disconfirmed their existing beliefs about the death penalty. The studies
were fictional, but were described as actual published research. They
were then asked of each study, "Has this study changed the way you feel
toward capital punishment?", and "Has this study changed your beliefs
about the deterrent efficacy of the death penalty?" Then they were given
summaries of several prominent criticisms of the study, and the
authors’ rebuttals to the criticisms.
The results? The two groups became more certain of their original
position, and, as a result, the groups became more polarized in their
beliefs!
Why? Because people are likely to examine relevant evidence in a
biased manner, accepting evidence that is consistent with their views
without further scrutiny while subjecting evidence that contradicts
their views to intense scrutiny."
Whose mind are you changing? Are you just making things worse? Are you just making someone even more less open minded? Who are you to give orders? What makes you so infallible and correct that you are allowed to give your opinion as the only opinion worth having? One of the things I have found to be a great characteristic of this wonderful thing we call mankind is the ability to think differently. Should you stand up for injustice? Yes. Should you stand up for life? Yes. Should you continue to fight the good fight? YES! But not everything is so cut and dry. Do your due diligence and see all sides of an issue. Not only does this help you see things from another perspective, it allows you the opportunity to know why you believe what you believe.
Lastly, consider joining another regiment. Go out and find an infantry group who actually have their boots on the ground and get your hands dirty. (Not to say that your fingers and keyboard aren't already covered in the blood of your victims you have slaughtered during your many campaigns on the social media battle field.) Social media rarely makes real change. Lots of people say they want to fight the good fight. It is rare that many really step in and actually put on the uniform and walk the walk.
But I am here to say it is okay to put the fire out under your fingertips and light the fire under your butt. You don't have to leave your warrior status behind, just become a different kind of warrior. Fight for real change instead of just being another voice in a sea of words. When you look back on your career as a warrior, don't you want to have actually helped someone? Otherwise, what's the point of fighting?
Signed Your Commanding Officer,
Just as Guilty as You
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
Ending the Clutter: Experience Gifts
You have been there. Maybe it was Christmas or a birthday, possibly even a regular day when you looked out at all your children have accumulated and thought, "This has to stop." I hit my breaking point last year. My kids have rooms brimming with toys, papers, books, games, and who knows what else. I saw Christmas looming ahead of me and instead of getting excited, I started to stress about more things coming into the havoc we already have going on. That was when I decided we were going to start gifting experiences rather than goodies.
I bet you are wondering how this works. Well, for us, we give the gift of making memories. As a photographer, memories are super important to me. They play a vital role, not only in my work life, but in my life as a mom as well. When Anthony and I sat down to decide what the boys would be gifted for Christmas, I immediately expressed my concern about bringing more stuff into our overcrowded home. Furthermore, they don't play with 75% of what they have! He knew exactly what I was talking about.
We started planning what we might do. I had huge dreams of a big trip (I won't go into the details because I had to have a surgery that put this dream on hold, possibly until 2019 due to paying for that--and I still want to do that one!) that would just blow the kids away. Well, after some financial set backs, I had to reel myself back in and start from scratch. We decided to start with a shorter flight (our kids had never flown and Reilly was dying to) and stick with places we knew well and knew they would love.
Once we started planning, we quickly realized this would be more of a financial sacrifice than a regular Christmas. It wasn't as expensive as what I had envisioned previously, but when looking at it all together, I was like......dang! But then we started paying attention. What's going on sale? Where can we catch some breaks? We decided on Orlando, a destination we know well and all of our kids enjoy. First things first, how do we fly? We chose Southwest. While there are cheaper options out there, they were not only pretty close in terms of cost, but they allowed the most checked baggage without a fee, and took our stroller and car seat for free. On top of that, prices were much cheaper if we flew in the evening. Of course that is a sacrifice with young kids because you are out much later and it can affect their behavior and sleep schedule. We decided to make the sacrifice.
There wasn't much of a break on the rental car because Anthony was terrified after reading some reviews of the cheap rental places. We stuck with Budget for that. I was okay with his choice. When you are arriving in an airport that basically shuts down when you arrive, you don't want to be held up or have to deal with craziness with your only mode of transportation out of the place.
We did our research on the attractions and realized that SeaWorld ran a Black Friday deal where you could purchase buy one get one free tickets. That saved us a good bit. We decided our second stop would be Legoland where we could take advantage of the homeschool discount. What was great about this is that they allowed our whole family to use it even though only one of our kids was homeschooled. Little things like that will make me more comfortable in recommending your establishment to others, as well as returning.
That left us with lodging. Lodging can be an expensive undertaking in a place like Orlando. To save moolah, we opted out of staying on location at SeaWorld. We stayed at a StaySky Suites about 3 miles away. It saved us at least $100 and we were still close enough to get to the park when it opened. Unfortunately, Legoland was not as cheap when it came to accomodations. There is basically nothing surrounding it, so the best option is to stay at their lodgings. To save money, we opted to stay at the Beach Retreat across the street instead of at the hotel there on the property. We have stayed at the hotel in the past when they had a Georgia Residents Discount. It was a great experience, but we wanted to try something different and save a few bucks.
While it was more than what we would have spent on a regular Christmas, I knew that the lack of junk coming back to our house was going to be worth it. I also knew that the memories we would make with our kids would be worth so much more than what we paid.
At Christmas, we gave the plane tickets to Reilly, the SeaWorld tickets to TJ, and the Legoland tickets to Jase. They were thrilled. Did they want a Nintendo Switch? Yes! Did they get one? No! We have gaming systems galore and they didn't need another one. Did they want huge nerf guns to add to their bulging nerf collection? Of course! Did they get them? No! You can find random nerf bullets all over the upstairs and usually between the couch cushions.
We got back from our Christmas adventure (the only catch was the kids had to wait until February to "get" their gift) about a week ago and it was a complete success! Not only did our kids make some crazy good memories, they were worn slap out every night. They spent less time on their tablets and tvs and enjoyed time with dolphins, stingrays and penguins. They weren't having to get rid of stuff just to make room for more stuff, and instead got to take on Lord Garmedon on the Ninjago ride. We laughed and danced, braved big coasters and little coasters, spent time with family, and just marvelled at how much God has blessed us. Watching your kids during a time like that you realize how fast these moments go by and you are so grateful that you make the time and money sacrifice to do things like this.
As many of you know, our family theme this year is "Adventure." So far, we have done several things to keep that up (by the way, have I mentioned that I am TERRIBLE at geocaching??). So far, that trip has been the best adventure. For those of you who follow my Cox Family Travel Logs, I know you got a first hand account of all the adventure. I am so thankful that we decided to skip the stuff and go for the memories.
When I think back on my childhood, I don't remember most of the toys I owned. I remember a few--our Thundercats lair, our Voltron racetrack, My Little Ponies galore, G.I. Joe's. What I mostly remember are the trips we made. We went to places like Disney World, Panama City, and Washington, D.C. Some of our best memories were made in the car on the way to where we were headed. Believe me, we have the videos to prove it! I wanted my kids to have memories like that as well.
Their birthdays are quickly approaching. I am currently in planning mode for gifts that will not crowd our home with stuff, but fill it with memories of time spent with those that love them the most. Oh, and adventure......lots and lots of adventure!
I bet you are wondering how this works. Well, for us, we give the gift of making memories. As a photographer, memories are super important to me. They play a vital role, not only in my work life, but in my life as a mom as well. When Anthony and I sat down to decide what the boys would be gifted for Christmas, I immediately expressed my concern about bringing more stuff into our overcrowded home. Furthermore, they don't play with 75% of what they have! He knew exactly what I was talking about.
We started planning what we might do. I had huge dreams of a big trip (I won't go into the details because I had to have a surgery that put this dream on hold, possibly until 2019 due to paying for that--and I still want to do that one!) that would just blow the kids away. Well, after some financial set backs, I had to reel myself back in and start from scratch. We decided to start with a shorter flight (our kids had never flown and Reilly was dying to) and stick with places we knew well and knew they would love.
Once we started planning, we quickly realized this would be more of a financial sacrifice than a regular Christmas. It wasn't as expensive as what I had envisioned previously, but when looking at it all together, I was like......dang! But then we started paying attention. What's going on sale? Where can we catch some breaks? We decided on Orlando, a destination we know well and all of our kids enjoy. First things first, how do we fly? We chose Southwest. While there are cheaper options out there, they were not only pretty close in terms of cost, but they allowed the most checked baggage without a fee, and took our stroller and car seat for free. On top of that, prices were much cheaper if we flew in the evening. Of course that is a sacrifice with young kids because you are out much later and it can affect their behavior and sleep schedule. We decided to make the sacrifice.
There wasn't much of a break on the rental car because Anthony was terrified after reading some reviews of the cheap rental places. We stuck with Budget for that. I was okay with his choice. When you are arriving in an airport that basically shuts down when you arrive, you don't want to be held up or have to deal with craziness with your only mode of transportation out of the place.
We did our research on the attractions and realized that SeaWorld ran a Black Friday deal where you could purchase buy one get one free tickets. That saved us a good bit. We decided our second stop would be Legoland where we could take advantage of the homeschool discount. What was great about this is that they allowed our whole family to use it even though only one of our kids was homeschooled. Little things like that will make me more comfortable in recommending your establishment to others, as well as returning.
That left us with lodging. Lodging can be an expensive undertaking in a place like Orlando. To save moolah, we opted out of staying on location at SeaWorld. We stayed at a StaySky Suites about 3 miles away. It saved us at least $100 and we were still close enough to get to the park when it opened. Unfortunately, Legoland was not as cheap when it came to accomodations. There is basically nothing surrounding it, so the best option is to stay at their lodgings. To save money, we opted to stay at the Beach Retreat across the street instead of at the hotel there on the property. We have stayed at the hotel in the past when they had a Georgia Residents Discount. It was a great experience, but we wanted to try something different and save a few bucks.
While it was more than what we would have spent on a regular Christmas, I knew that the lack of junk coming back to our house was going to be worth it. I also knew that the memories we would make with our kids would be worth so much more than what we paid.
At Christmas, we gave the plane tickets to Reilly, the SeaWorld tickets to TJ, and the Legoland tickets to Jase. They were thrilled. Did they want a Nintendo Switch? Yes! Did they get one? No! We have gaming systems galore and they didn't need another one. Did they want huge nerf guns to add to their bulging nerf collection? Of course! Did they get them? No! You can find random nerf bullets all over the upstairs and usually between the couch cushions.
We got back from our Christmas adventure (the only catch was the kids had to wait until February to "get" their gift) about a week ago and it was a complete success! Not only did our kids make some crazy good memories, they were worn slap out every night. They spent less time on their tablets and tvs and enjoyed time with dolphins, stingrays and penguins. They weren't having to get rid of stuff just to make room for more stuff, and instead got to take on Lord Garmedon on the Ninjago ride. We laughed and danced, braved big coasters and little coasters, spent time with family, and just marvelled at how much God has blessed us. Watching your kids during a time like that you realize how fast these moments go by and you are so grateful that you make the time and money sacrifice to do things like this.
As many of you know, our family theme this year is "Adventure." So far, we have done several things to keep that up (by the way, have I mentioned that I am TERRIBLE at geocaching??). So far, that trip has been the best adventure. For those of you who follow my Cox Family Travel Logs, I know you got a first hand account of all the adventure. I am so thankful that we decided to skip the stuff and go for the memories.
When I think back on my childhood, I don't remember most of the toys I owned. I remember a few--our Thundercats lair, our Voltron racetrack, My Little Ponies galore, G.I. Joe's. What I mostly remember are the trips we made. We went to places like Disney World, Panama City, and Washington, D.C. Some of our best memories were made in the car on the way to where we were headed. Believe me, we have the videos to prove it! I wanted my kids to have memories like that as well.
Their birthdays are quickly approaching. I am currently in planning mode for gifts that will not crowd our home with stuff, but fill it with memories of time spent with those that love them the most. Oh, and adventure......lots and lots of adventure!
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